


Your Soul on Walls

by a_lonely_tatertot



Series: Gay Kotlc For Your Soul [5]
Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: Angst, F/F, M/M, Modern AU, They destroy some lightbulbs, actually beta tested for once, graffiti au, kotlc - Freeform, mentions of transphobia, tam's a bit shady, the group is gay af, the song parents are assholes, things get a bit rough in part 2, this is because of tumblr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25175821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_lonely_tatertot/pseuds/a_lonely_tatertot
Summary: There's a kid at Tam's bridge. Making friends with the Chief of Police's son was not how Tam expected his night to go.ORTam and Fitz meet under a bridge one night and things get worse from there
Relationships: Sophie Foster/Linh Song, Tam Song/Fitz Vacker
Series: Gay Kotlc For Your Soul [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1795663
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	Your Soul on Walls

**Author's Note:**

> Hey yall sorry this is late I came up with this middle of last week because of the rise of Titz Fam on Tumblr, go check it out it's as weird as it sounds
> 
> This was betaed (is that even a word????) by the wonderful bookwyrminsiration on Tumblr!
> 
> Anywayyy sorry about the delay its 2000 words longer than normal so hope that makes up for it!

There was a boy under the bridge. He was hitting lightbulbs against the wall with a golf club, clearly angry about something. Tam had first seen him when he approached the shadowed awning, warned that he wasn't alone by the sound of shattering glass. He had found his way closer, to get a better look at the source of the noise when-

CLANK! The bike rattled on the ground, shattering the silence. The boy's head swiveled in Tam's direction, along with the golf club. _There goes sneaking away quietly_ , he thought. Moving out of the cover of the bush, Tam picked up his bike. 

"Geez, you scared me," the boy breathed. That's when Tam realized who he was, Fitz Vacker, the one and only. 

"Says the guy with both the lightbulbs and golf club," Tam muttered. Fitz laughed at that glancing down at the golf club. "Rough night?" he asked, gesturing to the glass scattered over the ground.

"You could say that."

"Know the feeling."

"I'll let you hit some if you help me clean up," Fitz proposed, offering the end of the club.

"Don't even know my name and you're offering me a potential weapon,” Tam noted, taking the end, “you have too much trust.”

"And you have too little."

With that they took turns with the golf club, turning their aggression into broken pieces of glass on the stone. There was a peace in it, family issues their shared enemy. 

They were cleaning up when the cold chill of the night finally sank in for Tam. He shivered a bit every time he bent down to pick up a shard. Eventually, Fitz put a hand on Tam's shoulder, stopping him. "You're freezing, take my jacket," he said, holding it out.

"Always the gentlemen," Tam grumbled, but he was already putting it on. It was comfy, and also _huge_. The sleeves passed his hands turning into little flappers. The soft material did its job warming him up, it was practically a toaster from Fitz’s body heat. He had to fold back the sleeves so he could see his hands.

They ended up walking to Fitz's house through some agreement that neither remembered making. When they turned on Serenville, Tam glanced at the back of the baseball scoreboard out of habit. It was home to one of his first pieces and had been for his twin, Linh. Suddenly, the air was no longer comfortably silent, and Fitz had gone stiff, staring at the board. He seemed angry, but not like he was previously, more unsteady, uncertain. The back of the board wasn't Tam’s biggest piece, but it was Linh. An ocean of crashing waves turning silver like the tips of her hair.

"It's horrible, isn't it?" Fitz said. Tam whipped his head to stare at him. Horrible. That one’s new.

"I'm sorry?" 

Fitz looked at him, "It's like the person is screaming for attention, and no one even knows what they're saying!"

"Isn't it enough for the artist to know?" Tam asked, trying to not sound defensive. It was his work being criticized.

"Then why do they have to go throw it out in the world?"

"You're not much of an art person are you?"

"I like words better, more straight forward, and it's not like anyone throwing them up on walls," Fitz said shrugging. Tam wanted to argue. Since when were words straightforward? But he didn't need to get in a fight."Plus, it's just more work for people who don't have time for it." Tam was about to retort when he realized Fitz was talking about his dad, the Chief of Police, who probably got stuck cleaning up the art. He clamped his mouth shut after that.

They were on the steps when Fitz unexpectedly turned to him, "I don't know your name."

There was some witty response that got caught in the back of Tam's throat because of the intensity of his eyes. "Tam," he got out, before promptly racing home.

He was already in his room when he remembered that he was still wearing the jacket.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tam couldn't keep his eyes open. The stream of people in the shop seemed bigger than normal, or maybe he was just too tired. Eventually, Wylie told him to go take his break because he was going to fall asleep in between customers. He couldn't get Fitz from the night before out of his head. It was starting to get annoying. The outburst made sense, his dad was the chief and Tam had already had his fair share of run-ins with him. He understood why Fitz would take after his dad, the man seemed too overbearing for him not to. Tam fell asleep thinking about him, the boy that broke his heart like it was one of his light bulbs.

Someone was shaking him. "Tam! Come on!" Linh shouted.

"Geez! I'm up, I'm up!" He said when she smacked him on the head.

"You're on register." She shook her head when he groaned. "That's what you get for passing out."

Three hours of standing and talking and a fake happy voice. _Somebody shoot me_ , Tam thought, when two boys laughing loudly walked in. 

"Hi, welcome to Mysterium, what would you like?" Tam asked, cringing slightly at how tired he sounded.

"Holy shit it's you," one of them breathed. _That's not a drink_ , Tam's brain unhelpfully supplied.

"I'm sorry?" Tam said. He finally looked up and felt his breathing hitch. There was Fitz, in his untousled, fucking perfect, prep-boy glory, and Tam was about ready to launch himself off a cliff. It couldn’t possibly be fair. Because if he had looked good while destroying lightbulbs, he looked stunning when normal. He was fully aware of Fitz's friend watching them. 

"I'm Keefe by the way," Fitz's friend said, breaking the silence. Tam didn't know why he was introducing himself but he went with it. 

"Tam," he responded, shaking the extended hand. 

"So I've heard," Keefe said with a small laugh. Tam glanced back at Fitz, his staring was starting to get awkward. Keefe poked his friend in the arm to get him back to reality. 

"You're wearing my jacket," Fitz said finally. Tam heard a "smooth Fitzy" behind the fake cough Keefe gave.

"Oh! Yeah, I can give it back to you-" Tam started but Fitz just shook his head with a goofy smile. 

"Nah, I've got more, plus, it looks good on you," he said. Keefe looked like he was about to lose his hold on his laughter. The heat in his cheeks was almost unbearable, and he got out a thanks behind an awkward cough.

"So, uh, drinks," Tam asked, beyond awkward. The two boys ordered and went to sit down. Tam overheard Keefe whisper "You gave him your jacket?"

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A blonde hair girl was staring at him and Linh from across the store. All he wanted was some apples. Not apples and a stalker. Occasionally she would scoot closer, pretend to look at something, and give obvious glances towards them. Tam very much wanted to turn and stare at her until she got the hint. But Linh did the same thing. Pretend to look at the eggs and then stare at the girl for a solid ten seconds. At one point they locked eyes and both looked away blushing. It was getting tiring. When they had moved on to the cereal the girl finally seemed to get enough courage to talk to them.

"Hey are you Tam?" she asked. Behind him, Linh was trying very hard to hide her disappointment. 

"Uh, yeah, why?" he responded, all he wanted was some damn apples.

"I'm friends with Fitz, he talked about you a lot," she said with a smile. The thought of Fitz talking about him made him blush more than he would like to admit. "I'm Sophie by the way," she said, but it was directed more at Linh.

"Linh." Sophie's smile brightened a bit more at that.

"I love your name! Anyway, the gang and I are having a karaoke night tomorrow at The Black Swan if you guys want to come," she said. Tam was about to decline when Linh started nodding her head (way too excitedly if you asked Tam) and the two girls exchanged numbers. When Sophie finally left and Tam was about to protest going, Linh put a finger on his mouth.

"Not up for debate because if that cute girl is gonna be there so am I, and you need friends," she said in an accusing tone.

"I have friends!"

"Wylie doesn't count and we both know it."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Why did I let Linh talk me into this?_ Tam thought, his hand hovering just over the door handle. 

_Because you wanted to,_ his brain responded. 

_Be quiet_. He was about to push the door open when Linh pushed passed him.

"What?" she asked to his annoyed face. "You were taking too long, they’re just people, it’s not the end of the world!" He wanted to argue that those two things go very well together but was cut off by a shout coming from the crackly speaker system.

"Hey!" Sophie jogged toward them. "I didn't think you guys would show!"

"Tam over here had a bit of trouble with the door," Linh laughed, embracing her. The rest of the group started to make their way over. And with that, Tam somehow got dragged (thrown more like) into the group, getting squashed between a strawberry-blonde boy named Dex, whose eyes got wider the longer he talked, and a girl with a glare that could kill with a single look named Biana. They talked fast and loud. Tam didn't understand half the things that came flying out of both their mouths, but he nodded along and they didn't seem to care. 

A little crackle came from the speakers as Fitz and Keefe queued up their song. Keefe started first, his voice like fire, strong and with a sense of wildness. And Tam was a bit prepared for that, it felt right for Keefe. But Fitz, _God,_ Fitz. When he opened his mouth his voice was like the tide. Luring you in with a sweet siren song and a promise of mystery, only to throw you out into the open sea. The beat hit and they were dancing, belting out lyrics, the soft serene somehow forgotten. Sophie started to sing along from the other end of the curved booth, followed by Linh, and eventually all of them (Tam much much quieter than the rest).

When the slow part hit, Fitz's voice grew soft and low, each syllable clear and careful. Fitz's eyes drifted away from the screen for a second, and didn't glide over the group like Tam expected, they held Tam's with a sense of stubbornness behind them. As the tempo rose and Fitz's mouth formed a small smirk, Tam desperately prayed that no one else had been looking at him. 

But as the song rose so did the group, getting on their feet, dancing, and shouting the lyrics at the top of their lungs. After many protests, he was dragged to his feet by Biana who smacked him on the shoulder and whispered something to Dex who laughed and shook his head. But he felt his eyes constantly being dragged back to the stage by a force he couldn’t identify. But quickly the song was over, and he found Dex staring at him with an intensity.

"What," he asked, reaching for water.

"With all that staring someone’s bound to think you like Keefe," Dex responded with a grin. Tam's eyes flew wide and it took everything in him not to spit out his water. There was a laugh behind him that was most definitely Linh.

"Nah, his type is more brunettes," she said. Tam wasn't as lucky that time and earned a worried look from Fitz. 

(As they left Tam swore that he saw Dex hand Biana a ten.)

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After that night the group started showing up all the time. If you asked Tam he would say it was annoying, but really, he would find himself waiting for them to come in. Dex and Biana would sit at the corner table in Mysterium, working on new projects and ideas for pranks and small inventions. They often dragged Linh and him into them. Linh was easier to persuade, she would ask questions and get as excited as them, while Tam would act like it annoyed him, but in reality, he hung off every word.

On a Wednesday, when he only had a morning shift, Keefe found him at the store and they spent the rest of the afternoon driving around in his truck and stopping at Slurps and Burps. They talk about crappy parents and art. In the end, Tam had learned more about hair products than he even really wanted to know.

"Hey if you want that crappy dye to last you gotta treat it right!" Keefe said piling an absurd amount of hair product into the cart.

Tam was moderately worried, "Uh, yeah, no, I'm not paying for all that." Keefe paused and turned to him with a smirk.

"Oh no, it's all on my dad," he said with a wink.

Keefe drove him to Tiergan's, who let him and Linh stay whenever, and insisted on helping him with the bags. Neither of them were surprised when they found Sophie sitting at the counter watching Linh make dinner. After unpacking the extreme amount of bags into Linh and his shared bathroom, Keefe slapped him on the back.

"Good job, Bangs Boy, you passed the best friend test!" he said.

Tam raised an eyebrow, "I did what?" Tam didn't exactly get what "best friend test" he passed. It wasn't like the two of them had been all that friendly the entire afternoon, mostly making fun of each other and getting in small fights over how much hair product Tam needed. But Keefe just laughed before high-tailing it out of the house, dragging a protesting Sophie behind him.

It was hard to go a day without seeing Fitz, he was the worst out of all of them (not like Tam was complaining much). He would show up with Biana and Dex seeming slightly confused about how he ended up hanging with his sister, but Fitz would play it off well. And some days when he could get off work before twelve, he would find Fitz outside with a pair of golf clubs.

"Wanna go beat the shit outta some light bulbs?" he asked in complete seriousness. He was always hanging around Mysterium, and if he wasn't there he was at the bridge. Or he would tag along with Keefe and Dex as they forced Tam to go somewhere new that ‘they couldn’t believe he hadn’t been before’. Tam found Fitz in almost every part of his life, neither knowing quite how he got there. But sometimes it wasn’t quite a time he wanted him to be there.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So what if he got angry? That happened often. What if he found himself slamming the door closed for the fifth time that week? Then he would go to the shack by the docks. So what if he forgot to make stencils and ended up throwing up paint like the swirls in his mind? That black one was his parents, and the purples his friends, the silver his sister, and that teal that found itself into every dark corner of his life. So what if he got angry and yelled at the sky? So what if he punched the stone wall so many times his knuckles started to bleed? And when he ran into that teal line, blood and paint mixed, dripping off his hands. When the blind anger in his mind streaked with a harsh yellow, he didn't stop. 

"What do you want?" he growled before pushing past Fitz who stumbled a bit, but Tam didn’t look back. He was tired of looking back. So what if he got angry? 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next afternoon Tam found himself in the back of Keefe's old truck, Chuck. Somehow, he had been talked into going on an impromptu bowling trip and ended up with Fitz of all people sitting on his lap. There wasn't enough room for all seven of them, and no one had come up with the idea to take two cars, probably because as soon as Fitz scooted over into his lap, Tam's mouth went too dry to work.

When they turned on Alluveterre St., the previous night started to crash down on him. The rest of the crew were arguing about some choice of music when the black hole he had made, the purple, black, teal (that stupid color he couldn't get out of his head), and silver swirled and spread along the back of the billboard, came into view. He tensed up at the sight of Fitz watching it pass, waiting for some dumb remark about how it shouldn't be there, because _dammit Fitz you think I don't know that?_ But it didn't come. His heart pounded so hard in his ribcage he wondered if Fitz had heard it. 

"It's beautiful," Fitz whispered, so quietly Tam wasn't quite sure that it was real.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The door slammed shut with a satisfying sound, but it didn't calm the storm that was growing, waiting to burst. He jumped on his bike and started to peddle, weaving his way through the familiar backroads. The buildings and scenery turned to a blur around him. Why couldn't they just realize it wasn't going to work? How many times did they have to kick them out and only invite them back with open arms when it was good for them? He couldn't take much more from them. The snide comments, the underneath murmuring, the constant misgendering. Once he had enough money he was getting him and Linh out of that hell hole. 

Broken glass littered the floor of the shack. That hadn’t been there last time. The all too familiar feeling of adrenaline-filled his veins, that buzz, his heart rate rising, he had fallen in love with it. He left the small flashlight that was clipped to his belt turned off and found his way in the darkness. Rotted wooden posts were scattered around the broken shack. His backpack was in the back, tucked in a corner hidden behind a cluster of posts that might've once been a closet. Tiny was an understatement, normally there was enough room for him to step in, grab the bag, and wiggle his way out.

But this time was different. This time he was sitting with the bag in his lap, with his chin sitting on top of it. The one person that could make his heart beat faster than the adrenaline of throwing up a piece. Tam's mouth went dry. That was it. The Universe decided that his life wasn't shitty enough. Moonlight fell through the cracks in the walls, lighting up Fitz's face. There was a determination behind his eyes that terrified Tam a bit.

"After that night, I walked the entire town," Fitz whispered. "I looked at every piece that I could remember, and I realized, I didn't care much unless they were yours."

All Tam managed to get out was a soft, "Oh?" 

"Yeah. I also realized I wanted you to show me yours, but after my little outburst, I didn't know how to ask. So I followed you here and I've been here almost every night for about a week. And I broke some light bulbs because I was angry, and then right before I left tonight I realized I needed to apologize so I made cookies," Fitz rambled. He picked up the box tucked next to the wall. "I- here," he said standing.

"Every night for a week and cookies?" Tam chuckled.

"Shut it," Fitz laughed, stepping out of the corner. Holy shit, Tam wanted to kiss him.

"I only have my bike," Tam said.

"I can stand on the back wheel."

"So we’re doing this?"

"Hell yeah."

Tam took him around, as far out as the stone wall, to the baseball field and the back of the scoreboard. To the billboard that hadn't had an advertisement in forever. He showed him the birds and the eye of the storm. The broken animal with arrows in it's back. He showed him the parts of himself that were out for the world to see and yet felt private. He told Fitz where they all came from because he couldn’t stop himself. He watched as he traced the lines with care. But he doesn't look as he tells him of the stories and he closed his eyes so he can pretend that it's not Fitz who's watching him. So he could breathe like a normal person. 

“Where’d this one come from?” he asked, it was a simple question, but Tam found his words stuck in his throat. It was the first piece he’d put out there for the world to see. A simple sunrise, dripping down over a half-moon sinking behind the line separating them. He remembered that day, he was what, thirteen? Young to other people but to him far too old. He had come out to Linh right before, two weeks later he told his parents, who begrudgingly started to call him their son. But that night he finally felt like himself, he had been eyeing the billboard for weeks at the time, and with a final, _you gotta start somewhere_ , he headed out to the docks. Fitz was watching him, studying more like, waiting for him to start talking. So he did, and word after word tumbled out of him. All of it. From coming out to being kicked out to Tiergan to his deal for money for him and Linh. He left out bits, like who exactly he made the deal with, Fitz didn’t need to know that his brother wasn’t who he thought he was.

Ten minutes later, Fitz was still looking at him the same, which was a much much better reaction than he had had before. And they found themselves back at the bridge, the box of cookies between them, legs dangling over the side. From there you could see almost the entire town. The billboard’s a straight shot, with the sun rising. _Here we go again_ , he thought, _another new beginning._ His thoughts are interrupted by Fitz's hand on his shoulder and that all too familiar feeling of electricity shooting through him.

"The suns about to come up, we should head back," he said reluctantly. 

He's wasn’t ready for the night to end, and fuck it, if that meant stopping at a gas station because he couldn't think of anything better to stall with, then so be it. But when Fitz agrees almost automatically, he suspects they're in the same boat. 

There were two boys at the counter, the first thing he noticed walking in. It's been practically wired into him, from late nights throwing up tags and the times he's stolen. But because it wasn't enough for them to be just two random boys, they had to be those boys. And it wasn't enough for them to be there while he's with Fitz, but they had to be the ones that hated him the most. The deadline popped into his head, blinking red, it had been the day before, how could he have forgotten? The moment he saw them he grabbed Fitz's hand and yanked him into the nearest aisle.

"This is bad, this is very bad," he said, looking over Fitz's shoulder at the boys.

Fitz raised an eyebrow, "What? It's just us and my brother?"

"Well this is about to get interesting," he muttered to himself. "Anyway, if they see me I'm dead meat and thanks but I would like to stay ali-" before he could process what was going on, Fitz had thrown up his hoodie, grabbed the front of it, and pushed him back into the other side. Tam had just enough time to register how close their faces were before Fitz had smashed his mouth over his own. 

His fingers dug into Tam's back until he thought, screw it, and weaved his fingers into Fitz's way too neat hair, determined to mess it up for once in his life. It's to get out of this, he told himself, but the way that Fitz's arms wrapped around him, and the way their tongues fought didn't entirely convince him. 

They stayed that way, wrapped in each other until they heard the gas station door ring signaling they were alone. At that point, Tam remembered that the need to breathe existed and pulled away from Fitz, resting his head on his shoulder. "Shit," he said between desperate attempts to regain his breath. He laughed a little, "That was not how I expected this night to go."

"That was definitely how I hoped this night would go," Fitz responded, and Tam could've heard the smile in his voice if he wasn't too busy focusing on what he said. 

Five minutes of good was all Tam got before it went downhill. They opened the door to find Avlar next to his bike, “Shit.” He had forgotten to check outside before they had left. Stupid Fitz being stupidly distracting. Alvar grinned at him, not the good kind, the ‘I’m-going-to-eat-you-alive’ kind. Without thinking, he grabbed Fitz hand and sprinted as fast as he could.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! I should have the next part up soon and yeah that's all I got


End file.
